Saturday, July 25, 2015

Obama Blames Black Crime on White Gun Ownership, Demands to be Called White

Speaking on the Lafayette theater shooting, Obama renewed calls for White disarming, stating that two Whites in a row makes a wrong, referring also to Dylann Storm Roof.

"Furthermore, race is only an issue because Whites have guns," said he. "Some would say I am anti-White, but I am White, having a White mother, and Whiteness passing through the mother. Since historically the American tendency has been to consider all with any black blood to be black, from henceforth all who have any White blood are White. I am White, and therefore it is absurd to say I am anti-White. And so, with the help of special forces and foreign volunteers, we shall be disarming all White men so that racial harmony can come to its natural fruition across the land."

"Can you say it's natural if it's due to government action?" asked our reporter.

"Yes. For I am natural, and the government which I rule over is the product of man, which is natural. All is nature, and nature is all, and it is unnatural for the Bill of Rights to stand in my way."

"Is it true you are a commie diaper baby?"

"As I've said, I am White, and my mother was White before me, descended from a long line of Whiteness. I have White pride, and my disarming of the White males is an act of White power, which is natural and nature taking its course as is the way of nature, which must not be questioned."

"As a proud White man, how can you be opposed to the Confederate flag?"

"As a true proud White, I am against racism, which is a product of White shame. A proud White would know that his seed can not be diluted by race mixing, only grow stronger, until all the world is made White thereby."

"But if that happens no one will be White--"

"Ha. You are in error," Obama scoffed. "For Whiteness is not skin deep, but pierces to the DNA. Do you think skin color determines Whiteness? That is racist. Whiteness is also demonstrated by IQ, appreciation of classical music, and willingness to part with one's guns if your Whiteness is only your skin color. True Whites aren't White at all, but black, brown, yellow, and red."

"So if a person of white skin color says they're White they are not?"

"Yes. White power! Disarm the white-skinned devils!"